Going through a divorce is not easy for anyone, including the children involved. Parents constantly ask us how divorce may have an impact on their children during the process as well as after the divorce is finalized. It certainly will not be easy, and you certainly will not always enjoy interacting with your ex. Though you are no longer married or involved with your ex romantically, you still have children together and your ex will always be your children’s parent. Here are 10 ways to stay connected to your kids after divorce:
- Pursue you children. Never stop. Go to any events when you are not with them, call and Facetime them when they are with the other parent, and constantly remind them that you are still “you” and that you love them dearly.
- Make the most of your time with your children. Plan out the days during your parenting time so that you make the most of your time. Have activities set up, do their favorite things, and make them feel special. Though you will not need to have activities planned 100% during your parenting time, still try to make the most of the time they are with you.
- Your home is their home. You may have moved out of the marital home into a different home. This is extremely difficult for children. Make them feel as though it is their home, do things that remind them of their “norm”. Give them their own bedroom(s) and let them decorate them.
- Share an interest. Share an interest with your children. Do what they like to do. If they like sports, take them to watch a sports game. If they love to read, give them a book. Do it together.
- Be respectful of your ex. This is extremely Your ex is still their parent and always will be. Children can pick up on so many things, especially if you talk negatively about your ex in front of them. It can be devastating to them.
- A fresh start. Look at the situation as a fresh start. Begin a new photo album with your children. Now may also be a good time to begin new traditions.
- Stay consistent. Though you may not have the same ideals and parenting style as your ex, try to stay consistent. Your children will have an extremely difficult time if there are two completely different sets of rules in two separate households.
- If you can, live close. Find a place in the same city, or city nearby, so that you remain relatively close to your children. It may lessen the children’s anxiety by knowing that mom or dad is “just down the road”. It makes transitions much easier as well.
- The new person in your life. Eventually, you may begin to date again. Understand that this can be really hard for your children. Be sensitive and cautious about how and when you introduce someone new.
- Love your kids more than you hate your ex. It’s just that simple.
If you have any questions about divorces involving children or post-dissolution matters, contact one of our experienced attorneys for a free consultation.